Just Between Coaches – Episode 158
Stop Building a Business That Burns You Out (Maegan Megginson)
Maegan Megginson: Part three is the most important part of the whole sabbatical and it’s what happens afterwards. Right? So we have pre sabbatical where you’re preparing, setting intentions, making sure you have the support that you need. You have the sabbatical itself. Who knows what’s going to happen during that time? It’s a mystery. And then you come back from sabbatical.
Melinda Cohan: For so many business owners, especially those in their early stages, taking a sabbatical feels like an impossible dream. I’m just getting started. I can’t step away. But what if not planning for a sabbatical now means setting yourself up for burnout later. I’m Melinda Cohan and you’re listening to Just Between Coaches. I run a business called the Coaches Console and we’re proud to have helped tens of thousands of coaches created create profitable and thriving businesses. This is a podcast where we answer burning questions that newer coaches would love to ask a more experienced coach.
Today we’re talking about why sabbaticals aren’t just for the ultra successful or the already burned out. They can and should be a conscious part of your business plan. And if that feels like a far off luxury, we’re here to change your perspective. To help unpack this, I’ve invited Maegan Megginson to the show. Maegan is a business mentor and licensed therapist who helps entrepreneurs recover from burnout by creating sustainable and energizing ways to work. She’s the host of Deeply Rested, a podcast and newsletter dedicated to helping purpose driven entrepreneurs take better care of themselves. Welcome Maegan.
Maegan: Thank you so much for having me. I can’t wait to talk talk about sabbaticals. My favorite topic.
Melinda: Oh my gosh, I am so excited to have you on the show and this topic, I call it my hidden advantage or secret weapon in all of my business. Not just sabbaticals, but being intentional about looking after yourself. So I can’t wait to get into this. But before we do, would you mind sharing a little bit of your background with our listeners?
Maegan: Yeah, sure. I’d be happy to. So I started my career as a psychotherapist. I specialized in working with couples and providing sex therapy. And I did that for a little over a decade. I started a group practice, hired more therapists, and things were really taking off. But as we were growing, I was noticing two things simultaneously. One was that I was on the fast track to burnout. I was really struggling in my own personal life and my body and managing my energy. And the other thing I was noticing was that my time as a sex therapist felt like it was coming to an end. Like I was feeling intuitively like I had, you know, done what I needed to do in that respect. And it was time to move in another direction.
So I decided to take a sabbatical. That was in 2018. I say it with a calm voice now, but at the time the decision really was coming from a much more panicked, exhausted, I don’t know what else to do place. It felt like a last ditch effort not to just shut down everything that I had created, totally walk away from my business and career. I needed a reset. I took that sabbatical in 2018 and the whole experience was profoundly transformative for me in so many ways and really changed the trajectory of the work that I was doing away from being a therapist and towards working with mission driven, purpose driven business owners, healers, coaches, helpers to figure out really how do we do business in a more sustainable and enjoyable way. So here we are today with Deeply Rested.
Melinda: Here we are today. Yeah. When we look back, it’s never with that same sound of panic or exhaustion as we were in it. I remember I had an unplanned sabbatical in 2018. My big year was 2015 and 2016. And there was a sequence of events. My mom unexpectedly pass away, my sister was in the hospital, my best friend and parents of my godson had a tragic house fire. I mean, it was one thing, after 18 months, I had a surgery and I was like, whoa, my gosh. So it wasn’t a planned sabbatical, but I really, I had to step away from the business. And so I’m really glad that we are talking about this and talking about how to be proactive with it. That’s what I love. So you say every business owner needs an intention sabbatical at some point.
Maegan: Not a crisis sabbatical, yeah.
Melinda: What’s the real reason this is important?
Maegan: In my work, I talk about the system of capitalism and patriarchy that we are operating inside of as business owners. And you know, we don’t have to get into the weeds about what that means today. But I think the, the TLDR is that we are people who feel called to be healers, to be helpers in the world. I find the people that I spend my time with tend to be extremely sensitive and empathic deep thinkers, deep feelers. And the playground that we’re operating on as business owners was not set up to tend to our needs or really anybody’s needs. Right. The system of capitalism says you should just make as much money as possible. You should collect all the resources you can.
Right? We’re pretending like our bodies are robots and our businesses are machines, supposed to grow and grow and grow, right? Collectively, we’re climbing the ladder to nowhere. And that is not sustainable. It’s not sustainable for our bodies. It’s not sustainable for the planet that we live on. And I believe that sabbaticals are intentional, beautiful gifts we can give ourselves to unplug from that matrix for a short time, to come back to the wisdom of our souls. Right? It’s an opportunity to say, I’m stepping away from from this harmful system so that I can get in touch with what is it that I really need, what is the work I do, and how can I create my business in true alignment with my values?
Melinda: I love that. Come back to the wisdom of our souls. When a lot of people think about sabbatical, they think about three months, a quarter or a year, these long, extended periods of time. And there’s time and place for that. When I was thinking about our conversation today, I thought about the mini sabbatical. I never called it that until preparing for this episode, but the little mini sabbatical that I would take. And then I teach the coaches when they’re starting their business to take. And I found that a great rhythm early in my coaching business with my clients was to, for my private clients, coach them once a week for three weeks, then a week off. Three weeks on, one week off. And that pattern was good for me and good for them.
It was good for me. I could work on marketing stuff. I could do other things in the business. I could go on vacation. I had that room and flexibility. It was good for the clients because they could step back, let everything assimilate, percolate, and get back in touch with what’s important. That one week off was like a little mini sabbatical in some cases. And so it really just that proactive way of staying in touch with yourself, staying grounded in that. Why do you think so many business owners, especially just getting started, feel like that’s impossible?
Maegan: Okay, I’m going to answer that question while also taking two steps back to something else that you just said. We have this mindset that sabbatical is something academics do. Right? They take a year off and go to the forest, in a cabin, and they write their book or whatever it might be. It’s something that feels like it’s not for us. Right. Part of this process is reclaiming what sabbatical means and allowing yourself to create a definition that is unique to you. I don’t personally know anyone who’s had the luxury to take a six month or one year sabbatical. I recommend aiming for four weeks to start.
Most people, when they take a long vacation, they’ll take about two weeks off. For a lot of people, like, whoa, I’m taking a really luxurious vacation. I’m taking two solid weeks off. This is incredible. So I’m like, okay, well, let’s add two weeks onto that. And now we’re in the stretch zone, right? And another reason that four week arc really is helpful for sabbatical is because it takes about two weeks for our nervous systems to unwind, right? It takes about two weeks for us to really shed all of the stress and the pressure and the urgency that we are carrying around in our bodies as we run our businesses.
I find that for myself personally and for many of my clients, those first two weeks are all about decompression. And then the second two weeks are when you sink into some new experiences. You can take a week and experiment with a mini sabbatical, but you have to completely unplug from your business. That’s the key. It’s not a sabbatical if you’re working on your marketing plan in the background, right? You have to completely unplug. That’s the only way you’re going to give your nervous system a chance to have a different experience and tap into some new information inside a deeper part of you.
So I’ll just offer that as some kind of definitions, if you will, of like, what is sabbatical? What does it mean to take sabbatical? And now weaving that into why business owners feel like they can’t do it, right? Why so many of us, our gut reaction when we hear someone talk about a sabbatical is a little bit defensive, I find. You know, it’s a little bit like, well, nice for you. Must be nice, you know, like, oh, that’s not for me. And I think anytime we are hooked into those gut reactions, that is an opportunity to examine the way capitalism has really sunk its teeth into you individually. Right?
That’s what I call an internalized capitalistic response. You’re not allowed to do that. That’s against the rules. You have to keep working, you have to keep grinding. You have to do something harder and more viciously than everyone else. There are underlying stories that need to be examined so that you can begin to imagine to envision a new path forward for yourself that exists outside of what you’ve been taught you’re allowed to do.
Melinda: I love, love, love the paradigm shift. Now you mentioned sabbatical and vacation. What’s the difference between the two?
Maegan: Yeah, this is a great question. I think people get this confused and then they have a sabbatical that’s actually a vacation. Nothing’s different. It’s because you didn’t take a sabbatical, you took a vacation. Vacations are awesome. Highly recommend. Take more vacations. This is not like an anti vacation spiel. But when I take a vacation, I am dissociating with fun. You know, I am like hopping on a plane, I’m going to a beach. I am not going on vacation to do deep inner work. I’m not going on vacation to examine what’s not working in my life right now or what needs to be tweaked, what needs to be adjusted. I’m going on vacation to have a good time, often with at least one other person or groups of people.
When I’m on vacation, I am attuned to other people. We’re like navigating schedules, we’re deciding what activities to do. I’m in party mode. And that is great. That fills my batteries for joy, connection, playfulness. So it’s absolutely a necessary component of being a sustainable business owner. But when we talk about sabbatical, we’re talking about something very different. You might have joy, connection and playfulness on sabbatical, I hope that you do. But with sabbatical there’s a deeper intention, there’s a deeper purpose.
I encourage my clients going on sabbatical not to make any plans, which can be really hard to do. They’ll be like, I want to take a trip, I want to do this, I want to do that. When we are swept up in all the doing, it is hard to be still. It is hard to listen, to allow space and silence for deeper truths to bubble to the surface. We’re looking for a space of stillness, a space of silence, so that we can be with ourselves in a way we are not able to be with ourselves in the busyness of our day to day lives.
Melinda: I love that distinction. It’s a both end. It’s not an either or.
Maegan: Yes, definitely.
Melinda: But it’s being intentional about the both. And, and when you talk about the ideal target is that four week arc. Is it possible to start small? Like if I were just beginning, I’d be like, oh my gosh, Maegan said four weeks. Okay, I can’t do four weeks. I can do two weeks, but the first week I’m still gonna follow that same arc. The first week is gonna be unwind, decompress. The second week is gonna be deep inner work. Is it possible to tiptoe into it with intention? Or really four weeks is the arc where that magic happens?
Maegan: I think yes, when I hear somebody say, can’t do four weeks, but I can do two. As a coach, I want to dive into what’s going on. Because if you can take two weeks, you can take four weeks. Do you have more flexibility in your life and business than you’re telling yourself that you do? So I would really want to sink into that and find out, like, what are the blocks coming up here? Where do you feel resistant to giving yourself that four weeks instead of two? But let’s talk for a moment about folks who really, for whatever reason, two is their max. Like that’s it, that’s what they can do. Or one. Right. Maybe someone says, I can’t do that. Maybe it’s a three day weekend.
Yes, you can start small, but I want you to adjust your expectations accordingly. We can’t rush decompression in our nervous systems. That’s another capitalist way of thinking about going on sabbatical. If you go on sabbatical and you’re like, I’m going to shove as much personal growth into the next seven days as I can. Like, oof, okay, there’s the work. How about you just be still for seven days? No expectations whatsoever that you are just meeting yourself in stillness with no plans, no obligations for seven days. What do you discover? That would be a beautiful experiment. And labeling that as a mini sabbatical makes perfect sense.
Melinda: I love that. That’s my favorite takeaway. We can’t rush decompression.
Maegan: No, we can’t rush it.
Melinda: It is what it is. It has to have the space for it. I remember meditation has always been one of my self care elements. I do different types of meditation and I remember the first launch we did. I was talking with one of my tech support guys. He knew meditation was an important part of my self care. I was talking about being so busy and all the stuff I had to do and getting prepared. I made a comment, it was like, oh my gosh, I haven’t even been able to do my meditation.
And he knew that I would sit for like 30 minutes to an hour. He’s like, it sounds like you need to do twice the amount of meditation. I was like, I just said I didn’t have enough time. And then I paused and I was like, he is so right. We have to allow for that space. So that we can bring all of ourselves to whatever the task is at hand. And let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about our business campaigns, client work, relationship building, all the stuff that it takes to run a business. If your business can’t run without you for a few weeks, like, is it really a business or is it just kind of that exhausting job you’ve created for yourself? I want to talk about what needs to be in place as systems and efficiency. Geek in me is coming out. What comments do you have about that?
Maegan: I love what you’re saying. We’ve all been in that place in our businesses, right? We look around and go, oh, this would fall apart if I stepped away right now. And I do think that’s a beautiful moment to really examine with curiosity. Why have I set things up in a way that doesn’t allow me to live my life? Is that why I got into this? 99.9% of the business owners I talk to go into entrepreneurship for more freedom and flexibility. And then we end up creating these, you know, golden prisons for ourselves that could trap us in ways that our nine to five jobs never did. For a lot of people, the beginning of the sabbatical process is this encounter with the reality that maybe you’ve structured things in a way that aren’t in alignment with the vision you had for yourself going into entrepreneurship. And that’s beautiful.
If you’re in that place where you’re really encountering the reality that what you’ve created isn’t flexible in the way you need it to be, great, celebrate that and start making changes to be more flexible in your business. I think coming back to your question, it’s tricky because there’s no one size fits all approach for the way that you create your business. Right. I do not have a roadmap that says this is the kind of business you should create if you want to be able to take sabbaticals, right? These are the kind of systems you should have in place.
Our businesses should be as unique as our fingerprints. It should be so unique no one else can replicate it. I like to reverse engineer it and start with what is the vision you have for yourself? Oh, you want to take a four week sabbatical every year and a couple of two week vacations. Great. What kind of work do you do? And let’s reverse engineer. What systems and structure do you need so you can step away without everything falling apart? So I really do like to take an individualized approach when people are looking at how to structure their businesses for sabbatical.
And I also like counterbalancing that with a little bit of pushback because I think one of the myths that people carry when they are resisting going into sabbatical is that if they step away, everything’s going to fall apart. I find that not to be true for most people. It’s like we carry around this fear that if I step away, everything’s going to fall apart. Yeah, but that’s internalized capitalism again, Right? That is this teaching that we’ve been, you know, taking into our body since childhood that says we need to be singularly responsible for gluing together all pieces of our worlds. If you step away, nobody’s gonna care. Yeah, that’s the reality of the situation.
Melinda: Yeah, it’s really that ego stepping up, saying I have to be significant. It’s that need for significance, that need for control, the fear of getting out of control. And when you talked about that arc, the first couple weeks is decompression. It’s like that ego, go play over there on that playground. Let me get my spirit to come forth and have a voice. That’s what I imagine experiencing. And you said deep inner work. Don’t make plans, not really connected with other people. It’s not like that vacation. Do you recommend that people are connected with their coach or mentors in that time of sabbatical? Because I would imagine in that decompression and then that second two weeks, there’s going to be a lot of, I’ll just say stuff, insights. Is it helpful to have those resources on hand to work through and process that?
Maegan: Yeah, absolutely. I think it’s really important when stepping into sabbatical, whether it’s one week, four weeks, or a year, that you take time beforehand to think about what kind of support do I need personally to go on this journey. So I like to think about sabbatical as a three phased journey. There’s pre sabbatical, during sabbatical, post sabbatical. Pre sabbatical is the time when you’re setting intentions. Right. You’re really kind of thinking through why am I doing this? What are my intentions for this space? And what kind of structure am I going to create for myself while I’m on sabbatical? This is crucial because if you log out with no plan and no intentions and no structure, you might have a bad journey. Right.
You might really struggle. Like setting those intentions beforehand is a crucial part of having a, quote, successful sabbatical. So in that pre planning process, I really encourage people to think about what kind of support is going to feel, you know, most loving and bolstering for you individually? Do you want to have extra sessions with your therapist scheduled during this time? Do you want to take sabbatical with a small group of people so that you can support each other as you’re going through it? Do you want to work with a coach? And that’s what I do with clients.
Think about who you need supporting you while you deep dive into this journey, making sure that the people you have calls scheduled with are not people who are going to bring you back up into your head. Your traditional business coach. No, I wouldn’t have calls with them during this time. You’re going to want to really invite people who know how to be in the body without asking you to think about anything or answer questions. Be mindful of the type of people you’re asking in for support, but don’t do it alone. We all need community.
Melinda: Yeah. And when I think about reverse engineering, I love that approach to everything. I think that’s a big part of preparing for the sabbatical.
Maegan: Yeah, that’s pre preparing for sabbatical. Right. The first thing is make sure my business is set up in a way that the money is there. Right. We want to make sure that this four week period we take off isn’t just a four week, you know, all of a sudden, oh God, I don’t have four weeks worth of revenue that I was really counting on. Like, yeah, you have to plan in advance, especially if you don’t have money coming in from different sources in your life. If you have a partner who makes a great paycheck and can say like, oh yeah, no problem, like, we can float your business not generating any revenue for a month. Great. Your path into sabbatical is going to be more easeful than someone who is the sole breadwinner. Right.
That’s me. My family lives off of my income alone. So when we’re planning for our annual sabbatical, we do it a year in advance. Right. We look at saving. How much money do we need to set aside each month so that we have this income buffer that acts as a replacement for the revenue we would have generated. There are so many avenues to taking extended time off that you can take as a business owner. You can find an avenue that works for you, even if you have to plan it 12 months in advance. It’s just math, you know, like, it is possible to work this into the business that you are running right now.
Melinda: It’s also about setting expectations with clients. I’m thinking back to a couple of the times when I took that extended time off, and a lot of people were like, oh, my gosh, your clients are all going to leave and they’re going to feel like you’re not supporting them. And I’m like, time out. No, I. I’ve handled that. And, and I set the expectations with my clients that the reason I’m doing this is so that I can be an even better coach for you. And so, you know, I connected my why to their why, and then they were like, oh, thank you. That makes sense.
Yes. I want you to be the best coach possible. Because I was proactive, I was able to rearrange and reschedule the sessions so I didn’t miss income. I front loaded some sessions, I backended some sessions. There was just a gap, and I was able to work with each of my clients for a plan during that gap. And it worked really well.
Maegan: I think it’s huge. When I’m working with clients on planning for sabbatical, we start months in advance planting those seeds with clients. And I completely agree with everything you just said. And I’ll throw in two extra angles as well when we’re thinking about talking to clients. If your clients freak out, if you’re gone for four weeks, I think that there’s a larger conversation that needs to happen about how you’re working with your clients. Because as a coach, as a therapist, as any type of helping professional, it’s never a healthy dynamic to create client relationships where your clients feel like they need you. That, to me, is a red flag from a coaching perspective.
Your clients should know they can survive without you. We’re helping them become more autonomous and confident in their ability to operate in the world. So when I have people who are like, oh, my clients are going to freak out, I always say, can we have a larger conversation about that? Like, I wonder what you can change in the way you’re working with your clients so your clients feel confident existing without you for a couple of weeks.
Melinda: Now, for coaches that are listening, or any entrepreneur that’s listening, who feel like they’re just, they’re too far in the weeds to even think about this or consider it, what’s the first small step that they can take toward making sabbaticals a real possibility?
Maegan: Change the conversations you’re listening to. When you’re in that place where it feels impossible, if you’re struggling so, so, so much, I would wager that you’re also surrounding yourself with conversations that are reinforcing a model of success that doesn’t actually match up with what you want deep in your heart, deep in your soul for your life and business. So maybe you’re listening to business podcasts that are all about hustle and grinding and all about strategy, a new idea, throwing spaghetti at the wall. And maybe you’re in a mastermind group where everyone is leading with, look at me, I did this, I did that. And nobody’s talking about how hard it is.
No one’s talking about how they’re struggling. Really examine what kind of conversations, what kind of communities are you a part of right now and see if you can change that. If you shift into a space where you’re still doing business, but now you’re listening to podcast conversations like this. And maybe instead of the high productivity, high success business community, you step into a circle with people curious about self care, empathy, and, you know, sustainability. When you start changing conversations, I think that in itself is a way to bring your nervous system back to a healthier baseline. And from that place, I think the inspiration will take root and you will start to be inspired to make micro changes that lead you closer to the path of a more sustainable business than maybe the path you’re on now.
Melinda: Yeah, I love that. And I want our listeners to really hear when Maegan’s talking about shifting the conversations you listen to or shifting the places you show up. Maybe you’re not in that high productivity mastermind anymore. It doesn’t mean you won’t make money. It doesn’t mean that you’re sacrificing. So I want our listeners to not let your brain make that connection, because that is not true.
Maegan: Thanks for saying that.
Melinda: It’s not an either or. Well, I have to be like this or I don’t get that. So don’t go there, people. Stay right here with us.
Maegan: Such a great point, Melinda. I hear that all the time, too. I felt that fear in my early days in those masterminds, you know, in the scarcity and the fear of not being enough, I wasn’t realizing my potential because my nervous system was in a trauma response most of the time. And it was when I shifted gears and I did my mass unsubscribe from everything that made me feel stressed out. I started to find more easeful pathways to generate the resources I needed to live an abundant life. It’s kind of like you gotta leap before you know there’s going to be financial security on the other side. I haven’t found any path to do what we’re talking about that doesn’t require a leap of courage. But I so agree with what you’re saying. You can still make money and be a part of this movement.
Melinda: Yeah. Is there something that I haven’t asked you that you want to share with our audience about this topic?
Maegan: We haven’t talked yet about part three of the sabbatical experience.
Melinda: I had it in my notes to come at start. Thank you. Thank you for coming back to this.
Maegan: I want to come back because part three is the most important part of the whole sabbatical, and it’s what happens afterwards. Right? So we have pre sabbatical, where you’re preparing, setting intentions, making sure you have the support that you need. You have the sabbatical itself. Who knows what’s going to happen during that time? It’s a mystery. And then you come back from sabbatical, and when you come back from sabbatical, it’s really important that you have a period of integration. Right. That you not just jump back into the deep end. Right.
I don’t want you to come back from sabbatical and immediately have, you know, double the clients, a bunch of meetings or podcast interviews. No, no, no. You have to come back slowly to integrate, which happens in a condensed way at the beginning, but then trickles out through the rest of your life. Honestly, the integration period is where you can come back into your thinking brain, it’s your analytical mind, and go, okay, what just happened? What did I learn? What did I discover? And how do I want to weave it in to my life and to my business in a tangible, practical, actionable way? If we don’t ask that question often, we come back feeling this high, but we don’t make any changes. So we very quickly revert to feeling like we did before sabbatical.
We get mad, resentful, guilty, feel like we didn’t do it right. You know, we can kind of go into a bit of a shame spiral. I like to catch people in that shame spiral and say, hold on, you didn’t do anything wrong. We just missed a step at the end, which is, what did you learn? What did you discover? And how are you going to weave that into your business so that the way you feel now can become more of the norm and not something you have to plan 12 months in advance to feel in your body? Does that make sense?
Melinda: Oh, absolutely. I think it’s vital to pay attention to all these different phases and parts. So let’s summarize key takeaways from today’s conversation. And I love that you really gave the definition of sabbatical and and the opportunity to reclaim that and making it our own and talked about that four week arc and really painted a solid picture of what this looks like. I love the distinction between vacation and sabbatical. How you can get into this, what it looks like. I love when you shared we cannot rush decompression and how important that is and that you walked us through those three phases and we kind of added a fourth one there, the pre. Pre phase. But the pre during and post and being intentional about setting it up. It’s not just saying I’m out of here, have fun. But there’s much more purpose to a sabbatical and that’s available and accessible to us. Any parting words that you would like to share with our listeners?
Maegan: Parting words would be this isn’t a luxury, right? Finding more sustainable ways to show up, taking sabbatical, creating a business that pays you in deep rest and not just in money, but in both in rest and financial abundance. It’s not a luxury. It is something we all deserve. Whatever part of you resists, get curious about that part. Meet yourself with curiosity and really start interrogating a little bit the resistance and the struggle that you it’s not a luxury. You deserve it. It is possible.
Melinda: Beautiful. Maegan, this has been such a valuable, valuable conversation. Thank you so much.
Maegan: My pleasure. Thank you so much for creating space on your podcast to have this type of dialogue. I’m grateful to be here.
Melinda: Thank you for listening to this episode of Just Between Coaches. And a huge thank you to Maegan for sharing her wisdom with us. You can find out more about her work at deeplyrested.com and subscribe to her newsletter at deeplyrested.com/newsletter. You’ll find these links in the show notes. Again, Maegan, thank you for coming to the show.
Maegan: Thank you.
Melinda: Just Between Coaches is part of the Mirasee Podcast Network, which also includes Neuroscience of Coaching and Making It. If today’s episode sparked ideas about sabbaticals for coaches, leave us a review or share your biggest takeaway on Mirasee FM’s YouTube channel or your favorite podcast player. We’d love to hear from you. I’m Melinda Cohan. Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next time.