Making It – Episode 161
From Funky Diva to Empowerment Coach (Rhona Bennett)
Rhona Bennett: Hey, this is Rhona Bennett, also known as Ms. R&B. You are listening to Making It. You might know me as one third of the legendary funky divas in Vogue, but I am also a coach, known as Coach Rho. And I have a school, Personal Power University. And I help my clients to step into life with more courage, authenticity, creativity, and joy.
I would say that my mother was my first coach. I can remember when I was about 12 years old, I started working professionally in the entertainment business at a famous theater in Chicago, Illinois, called the Good in Theater. And I was in A Christmas Carol. I remember I was a student at the time and I had this full schedule as a kid. I would go to school, come home and do my homework. Then I would either go to rehearsals and have a show that night or rehearsals. So my days were jam packed.
One day when we got in front of the theater, I was in tears, crying uncontrollably. And my mother’s like, what’s wrong? Like, you have to go to work. And I didn’t want to go to work. I’m like, I don’t want to go to work. And my mother was like, okay. So then she came in and helped me unpack my emotions in the moment. Why was I feeling the way I was feeling? Stretch my perspective about what else it could mean to me. And once she was able to get me to calm down, she’s like, all right, now, you ready? I’m like, okay, I’m ready. And I went in and I did my job.
I wish I could remember how long it took for my mom to create the breakthrough in that moment. But I know it wasn’t hours because I had to go to work. It probably was minutes because she had to work, too. My mom was a thoroughbred. She was up at 3 something in the morning every day going and working for the government. So she had a full schedule with me as well. When I look back on that time, I’m just so grateful for my parents and how they made room to accommodate this dream that I had. And because my mom, I think, was in a management position, she was very good with dealing with people, so she kind of knew how to grab something. What’s the thing? Where’s the connection? Here’s the stretched perspective. Now go in there and slay that dragon.
In addition to my mom, I would be remiss if I did not mention my father, Joe Bennett. He has been pivotal as well in my ability to pay attention to detail and to have the courage to step into life the way that I have. And my sister, Rosalyn Bennett has also been a rock for me. She has also just been an incredible support system. The way that she’s set up emotionally to just kind of be there, listen, hold fort. That also came not only from my mom, but through my dad before he passed on. He did put some responsibility on her, but she has taken it like a badge of honor. He’s like, take care of your sister, you know, and she has absolutely done that.
A recent moment where I have experienced genuine joy is, for example, my coaching voice is now coming through an independent project of me as the singer. Coach Rho is having a message through the voice of Ms. R&B. And this has been a very personal journey with my goals in particular, so that I don’t overwhelm myself and shut myself down with where I think I’m going. I’m like, if I could just get to this thing, I’m excited. So I remember when I was coming up with the project, I thought it was just going to be one song, but as I allowed myself to say, I’m just creating this because this is the message I want to deliver. Not because I’m so sure it’s going to be some hit on the radio, not because I’m so sure it’s going to land with every person that hears it. That opened up space for more relaxation to allow more creativity to come through.
And then another song came out, another message was there. Don’t worry about the metrics, don’t worry about the results. Just allow the expression. For me, I’m just celebrating the wins along the way. And that brings on genuine joy because I’m letting out my authentic message without much obstruction, right? Because always some things that might bubble up for me to deal with and move through, but just allowing myself to accomplish the thing that I said I wanted to do, no matter what the metrics or results are, brings genuine joy to me. I’ve been told so many things over time that have been sage wisdom. When I think about dealing with people who might judge what I do or if they like it or don’t like it. I mean, you know, as an artist, I am subject because I’m on a public forum.
A lot of people can have opinions behind a screen and they can take liberties with telling me what they don’t like about what I do, what they may not like about my appearance, how I fit in or don’t fit in with a situation, all of those things. And I remember one of my mentors, he’s in the business as well, and he was like, haters are confused admirers. It made me smile. And it’s just one of those funny, good pieces of advice that settles the water. What if they are? Because if you’re paying attention to me that much, maybe there’s something interesting over here and if you stay long enough, you might end up liking it.
And a quote that pops up in my mind is from our creative visual director, Frank Gadsden. For me as an entertainer, and he says, share the light, sparkle brighter. I like that. A lot of my career has been about sharing the light, and because of that, I think we do sparkle brighter. It also opens up for me as a coach the practice of collaboration, great teamwork, great work ethic. All of these things are cornerstones of success to me. And they not only create success, but they help to sustain it. And that is something that I also teach in my coaching practice.
Maybe some of the common mistakes that people might make on the road to making it or in the process of making it is comparison. There’s this great quote that says, the devil is in comparisons. It’s just a distraction. And it’s a surefire way to block success for yourself or block seeing what is working for you in your life. And if you don’t know, we’re all on different paths at different points in our lives here to get a different lesson, especially with social media, that can be tricky because, you know, we’re all kind of posting the good parts and we don’t see all the muddy, murky waters. Boy, I’ve made lots of mistakes. There’s a specific moment. I was going into an interview, and right before I went into my interview on camera, I got a phone call.
I decided to pick up the phone instead of staying in my zone, going in, coming back to that, I picked up the phone and they decided to express to me something that shook me to my core. They weren’t feeling like being on earth anymore. And I’m like, what do I do? I said, hey, just hold on. Give me about 20 minutes, because that’s how long the interview was going to last. I said, can you give me 20 minutes? Just hang on. It’s okay. I’m going to be right back. We’re going to talk about it. Can you do that for me? Maybe, maybe not. Sounded a little shaky. I did my best to cushion the situation and I went to my interview because it was for my job and I didn’t feel like I could miss it.
After the interview, I call, they don’t pick up. I’m going crazy. Did I make the right decision? Should I have just dropped everything? So I was really grappling with myself about whether I made the right choice. I ended up speaking to a girlfriend of mine who I felt poured some sage wisdom into my space that really helped to alleviate the emotional pain of not making what could have been the right decision in the moment. She said, Rhona, that’s God’s child, not your child. Trust that makes me emotional. But when she said that, I was like, you’re right.
And as much as my heart, space and intentions were in the right place, I made a choice. Doesn’t mean that choice was diminishing the importance of the other choice. But in that moment, was it fully my responsibility to take care of this human in that way at that time? I don’t know. I said I’m going to come back, give us a chance to work it out before you make any other decision. But telling me that that was God’s child and not mine alleviated me of this full heavy responsibility that I was taking on to cover this person that’s God can cover that and cover my choice that I made. It took some minutes. That was the turmoil, right?
But once we got on the phone, the relief hit and we were able to talk it out. They’re still here, doing fine. We may come across as the experts all the time, but do we ever get afraid or do we ever feel inadequate? Have I ever felt inadequate in coaching someone? That may be something someone’s never asked me. And yes, the answer is yes. Sometimes a person can come to me and I wonder, is this a reflection of where I need to go or where I’m being called to stretch that’s going to up level what I’m able to deliver?
Or is it just exposing me to where I haven’t grown and where I lack? I think it’s both. And I think that it’s a call, though. It is a calling for what else do you want? How much greater or bigger, for lack of a better way to say it, do you choose to show up, Rhona, not only for your clients, but for yourself?
What does making it mean for me? Making it through the day, through a tough moment, and finding a tool, resource, or my support system to help me with it. Making it into a space in my life where I’m experiencing genuine joy, genuine self-expression, finding ways to be comfortable in my skin. making it through the uncertain moments of life and taking it on as an adventure and then being able to look back and grab the good. I started at about 18 years old on this conscious journey of self-exploration and discovering what God meant to me, what my purpose is.
So I learned that there’s so much value in the now. I just recently released a song called All On You and it’s about the power position that we all have, which is the power to choose. And if you don’t like the results you’re getting, pivot. And there’s this great quote that I’ve been keeping near and dear to me and that is keep pivoting until you get it right. And so that keeps me very present, moment minded, while I’m going for the destination. And my definition of making it has continued to evolve over time because my dreams keep evolving, my goals keep evolving over time as I grow and stretching what else is possible or what else I think I want? I’m making it to that moment and then I’m pivoting and making it to that moment.
And so I guess making it is fluid for me and I can appreciate the small wins just as much as the big ones. One of the things I do when I wake up in the morning, I go into gratitude. That’s a practice for me. That’s a part of my living prayer. And I thank God for peace of mind and presence of mind. If I can make it there without a lot of the noise from life in general, that’s making it mentally. From the heart space, emotionally, making it is to face my stuff, to not run from the emotions, to not run from the healing so that I’m not a bag lady carrying a lot of baggage to allow myself to feel, to make it okay.
Finding the good in whatever the space is, whether that’s even showing me what not to do again, that’s making It. And then from a soul’s response to making it is truly allowing myself to be who I am, speak from that authentic space as much as possible, share that authentic space with other human beings that come into my orb to coach, nurture, pour into and have a genuine exchange. And from that, creating breakthrough and impact in the way that they need in their lives.
I’m Rhona Bennett. You’ve been listening to Making It. You can find me at rhonabennet.com. That’s spelled R H O N A B E N N E T T. You’ll find the link in the show notes. Thank you for listening.
Danny Iny: Making it is part of the Mirasee FM Podcast Network, which also includes such shows as To Lead Is Human and the Neuroscience of Coaching. To catch the great episodes that are coming up on Making it, please follow us on Mirasee FM’s YouTube channel or your favorite podcast player. And if you enjoyed the show, please leave us a comment or a starred review. It’s the best way to help us get these ideas to more people. Thank you and we’ll see you next time.From Funky Diva to Empowerment Coach (Rhona Bennett)