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After the wedding: "Why am I doing this, anyway?"

So I got married.

The wedding was one of the most beautiful, magical nights of our lives.

Within a couple of days, all of our friends and families had scattered back to their respective corners of the globe, and we had only a couple of days to recover and adjust before heading off for our honeymoon.

It was the ultimate slacker vacation – a week at a resort where my wife and I (I’m practicing saying that, and it’s still weird) did nothing but lounge around by the pool. Okay, so that isn’t quite all that we did… but suffice to say that we had a really, really good time. 😉

And somewhere between the resort, the beach, the food, the reading, and the company of my wonderful wife (still weird), my batteries recharged, and I came back to real life so much more energized and enthused than I was when I left it.

The process was quite profound for me, and I’d like to share it with you…

After the wedding was… Exhaustion

It wasn’t just the wedding, either.

In the three months leading up to the wedding, here is just some of the stuff that was on my plate:

  • Planning the wedding (obviously)
  • The redesign of our site
  • Meeting all of my wife’s extended family
  • The “close” launch of our training program, complete with awesome free videos
  • Writing 20+ guest posts (do the math – that works out to over 100 pages of text!)
  • Laying the groundwork for our promotion plan until the end of the year
  • Moving into our new condo
  • Writing TWO books, start to finish (I’m not kidding – more about that coming up)

It’s a lot, which is why I’m not beating myself up too much about not running a marathon this year. 😛

But seriously – I managed to get it all done, but boy was I burned out by the end of it, and in desperate need of a vacation!

(And my heartfelt thanks to Peggy Baron, Brittany Rubinstein, Natalie Sisson, Sam Montoya, Stephen Murphey, Sean Platt, Stuart Mills, and Jayme Soulati for keeping Mirasee going with their excellent guest posts while I was away!)

Which is why the slacker resort vacation that we chose was such a good idea (the other idea that we were considering was backpacking the Andes in Peru – which would have been fun, but not this time!).

The Honeymoon: Fun and Reflection

We spent our honeymoon at the Sandals Whitehouse resort in Jamaica.

(Incidentally, the resort was featured by my good friend Judith Ritter in her radio piece Hotel With a Heart – it’s the third one down on the page, is only seven minutes long, and is really worth listening to.)

Our days looked something like this:

8:30am – Wake up, and make our way to breakfast.

9:30am – Breakfast at the Bayside Restaurant.

10:30am – Hang out by the pool, intermittently reading a book and swimming.

1:00pm – Lunch at one of the resort’s restaurants – my favorite was the Jamaican grill.

2:30pm – Back to our room to take a nap or read a book.

4:00pm – Walk along the beach, and maybe swim in the ocean.

7:30pm – Dinner at one of the resort’s restaurants – our favorite was Giuseppe’s Italian.

10:00pm – Walk along the beach, and make our way back to our room.

That’s all we did, more or less, for the entire eight days that we were there.

Along the way I managed to read four books, which I thoroughly enjoyed (if you’re interested, the titles were The Art of Non-Conformity, Flourish, Street Smarts, and Buzzmarketing).

I also got to think about my business.

Now, of course, I’m *always* thinking about my business. But this was different – since I was so far removed from everything (in Jamaica, without a computer), I was able to disconnect from the day-to-day, and think about the big picture.

Which brought me to an important question…

“Why am I doing all this, anyway?”

That was the question: “Why am I doing all this?”

Entrepreneurs don’t explore that nearly as much as they should; we may have a sense of what we want to achieve when we get started, but the funny thing about business is that it can have a life of its own, and if you don’t check in on a regular basis, you’ll find yourself further and further off-course.

So I posed myself the question. Why am I doing it? The blogging, the consulting, the writing… the whole kit-and-kaboodle of my online and offline activities. What’s it for?

Was it just to make money? No. I honestly don’t care that much about money, and I don’t have a particularly expensive lifestyle. Besides, there are lots of ways to make money – so why this?

Was it so that I wouldn’t have to work in a j-o-b? No, that wasn’t it, either. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t think I’d particularly enjoy working for someone else, and I think the opportunity cost would be too high for it to ever make sense for me, not just from a financial standpoint, but also in terms of what I would be able to learn and experience independently versus with a company.

So why?

Here’s the answer that I came up with – the answer that resonates for me, and that I will use to course-correct as new ideas enter my mind and new opportunities come my way:


I don’t mean that they’ll be able to make more money – though I want that, too. I mean better at business, and better as people; so that they create more value for themselves, their employees, their customers, and their communities.

I know it’s a tall order, but hey, I was planning on working hard anyway, so I might as well work hard at something that matters! 😉

So what’s next for Mirasee, and for me?

There’s a lot of exciting stuff coming up – we’ve been laying the groundwork for a lot of it for quite some time, and I’m very happy to say that it is all consistent with my newly focused vision.

Here’s what you can look forward to in the next little while:

  • Our Semi-Local Business Survey. UPDATE: You can read about the results here.
  • A book that I’m co-authoring with Sean Platt called How to Build a Blog: Create Awesome Content, Build Community, and Go Viral! We expect this one to be published around November or December.
  • A book that I’m co-authoring with Guy Kawasaki, Brian Clark, Mitch Joel, and lots of other people that you probably know and follow, called Engagement from Scratch! How Super-Community Builders Create a Loyal Audience and How You Can Do the Same! I’m very, very excited about this project, and you’ll be hearing a lot more about it from me, very soon.
  • And lots of other things – now that I’m back and feeling all re-charged, I feel like I can’t keep up with the exciting ideas that keep floating into my head! 😉

So stay tuned, ‘cause there’s gonna be lots and lots of really great stuff comin’!

is an author, strategist, serial entrepreneur, and proud co-founder of Mirasee, the program that teaches 
expert marketing for non-marketers. Get his free video course on how to get more money out of your business, website or blog, or follow him on Twitter @DannyIny.

About Danny Iny

Danny Iny (@DannyIny) is the CEO and founder of Mirasee, host of the Business Reimagined podcast, and best-selling author of multiple books including Engagement from Scratch!, The Audience Revolution, and Teach and Grow Rich.

15 thoughts on “After the wedding: "Why am I doing this, anyway?"

  1. I have enjoyed reading your article.  This is the first time I’ve visited your site and very glad that I did.  I am interested in your book, “How to Build a Blog: Create Awesome Content, Build Community, and Go Viral!”  I have some adsense and affiliates at my blog, but the money isn’t the reason I do the blog. I blog to become a better writer and hopefully soon to be published.  Thanks for the post. Sally

  2. I loved the story about the wedding, and glad to hear you both rested and recharged.  Finding it hard to believe just how much you accomplish – it makes me tired just reading the list – whew!  But then again I have small children to look after, so if you’re planning on that down the road, best to get all the miracles done now.  Looking forward to your rollouts…

    • Thanks, Julie, that’s very kind of you to say!

      It really doesn’t feel like I achieve all that much – but then, I don’t really step back and look at the output all that much, I’m so busy being in with the details. Maybe that’s the secret? 😉

      And yeah, there’s no question that kids are TONS of work – we’re hoping to have children at some point in the future, and I don’t know how that’s going to affect my work – but I’m looking forward to finding out!

      Thank you very much for stopping by, Julie, and best wishes to you and your family. 🙂

  3. Good to see you catch a well deserved break in Jamaica!  When I think of someone pushing the limits of “hustle”, I think of you my friend.  Looking forward to seeing your future projects unfold.

    • Thanks, Vic. It was a much, much needed break, but I’m really happy to be getting back to “real life” now. We’ve got to catch up – what’s your news? How’s life in Austin?

  4. Danny, congratulations…

    I have dreams to make my honey moon the best time ever for me and my future wife too.
    Thanks for sharing all this man and it just did nothing than to raise my spirit and make me
    believe in the entrepreneur dream.


  5. Just started getting in to your blog and all the info you offer. Which is a TON of stuff. I love to see you’re in your business for the right reasons and I’m looking forward to reading more of your work.

  6. Danny,

    Yeah, weddings are exhausting alright (having had two of them!)

    Your question is one that you keep posing to me. Seems like the answer changes almost daily. I realized (not a tad belatedly) that I should focus on the online market. Thus, I’m reading your blogging materials with great care. And I rewrote the online part of my website. Thanks for that – you started it all with the question you posed to me yesterday. Good call there, buddy!

  7. Danny. Thanks for sharing this. I got your email about “Who you are” and as I am sitting here in Beijing right now on a biz trip had some time to check it out. Marriage is wonderful and really demonstrates courage. Especially when you take the leap and have children. I find myself respecting those business people who are married and stay that way. It reveals so much about their character and who you really want to do business with. It is the most awesome personal development program so congratulations. In reading your post it dawns on me that nothing happens by accident. I was introduced to you by my copy writer friend and before learning of you I was becoming rather discouraged by what was being made available online. It is so refreshing to see some one who really does want to make a difference. It is rare as many are more interested in profits and only speak the language only to garner votes and cash. So keep the course and stay strong and you will be rewarded with so much more than money. As my mentor used to say. “You are wealthy because of your friends, your experiences, what you have learned through experience. It seems we have much in common with a little twist. I hope that we can have the opportunity to connect together as it seems there may be a valuable alliance here. Like you my passion is to help people. Specifically mine is wrapped around helping people understand they have a grand purpose and then pointing them into being an entrepreneur and build a business, because I truly believe that this is where the biggest impact can be made. Even if you work for some one else you can have an entrepreneurial mindset. People are the greatest asset and if they can be developed they can bring the wisdom the world needs to be better. But I focus on a holistic approach and work more like a general contractor who specializes in first building the right foundation and then bring in the specialists for those other areas. Would love to include you in our online resource as the specialist when it comes to being better business people. You really have a gift for that. If you have time would love to share what we are about to do and if you see that it will help your objectives them maybe some more magic can happen. Enjoy goring together as husband and wife. It will bring the greatest reward and make something truly special.

  8. Danny,

    Im so grateful to have sat next to you at PLF (for the 5 minutes I was in the room) the 1 friend to make 🙂 Your generosity is palpable and after reading this article it definitely is kismet besides the Bombay connection, I met my hubby in Peru and he is a native from Cusco. Anytime you want to visit please let me know and I can totally hook you up!


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